Category: Wednesday Wisdom

Being Assertive

It can often be difficult to speak your mind, especially if you lack self-confidence or naturally reserved.
Being unable to speak up at work can have long-lasting negative consequences. It can lead to stress, or render you almost invisible in a setting where promotions depend on visibility.
One of the main benefits of being assertive is that it can help you to become more self-confident, as you gain a better understanding of who you are and the value that you offer.
A friend once sent a mail to her boss that she’s due for promotion and better pay. The boss requested for a one on one discussion, probably an opportunity to prove herself, but she never made the move. Why? Her self-confident defeated her.
When you’re assertive, you ask for what you need, you talk openly about what you want, and you recognize when someone is taking advantage of you. You can approach the things you do with confidence and make a direct impact on your environment.
There are two important components to becoming more assertive: (1) learning to treat yourself with respect, and (2) building communication skills.
Here are some tips to help you be appropriately assertive in the workplace:
Believe in your worth
It is easy to be assertive when you believe in the value you are adding to an organization. Exhibit professional confidence and express yourself and your opinions.
Control your emotions
Lack of emotional self-control is a sign of weakness in the workplace and crying is a game changer and usually not a good one. Never speak or react emotionally.
Set clear boundaries
Boundaries add clarity to relationships and limit unwelcomed behavior and interactions.
Pick the right battles
It is not necessary to be assertive in all situations. Instead, know when to be assertive and when to hold your tongue. Many things can pass without the necessity of addressing them.

Learn to say NO

If you do not need to do something, you do not have to always accede to others. Saying “no” is a great way to take control of your workplace and relationships.

Ask for what you want
Have you been passed over for a raise or promotion over the last couple of years? Now is the time to get it. Structure the discussion in light of the objective reasons you deserve the additional recognition. Be prepared for the boss to say no. If he does, it is important that you stay focused and positive, and ask for a review in three to six months again. You are not being pushy; instead you are being assertive.

WednesdayWisdom 👌

What Motivates You?

A key to being happy and good at your job is being motivated. And when you’re happy with your job, you’ll also get more done.

I have been in gathering where questions such as “what motivates/inspires/drives you?” were being asked, and a number of people who responded were grumbling on financial factor.

The fact however is that the interviewer is asking for your self-assessment of what motivates you.

To figure out what your talking points will be, reflect on your past work experience.

What projects made you feel energized? What did you like most about your last job? What gets you out of bed in the morning? What inspires you?

Think about your strengths , as these are a good place to start. What are you great at? What do you have to offer the team? Also, decide on what your interests and passions are. Do any of these overlap with your strengths?

Do not talk about money. Focus on the interesting work (which is actually the number one motivator for most professionals), recognition, tools to do your work and/or the opportunity for future advancement.

If they ask “what about money?” as a follow-up question, you can simply acknowledge that money is important, but if you have an interesting work, you know that the money will follow.

The interviewer is looking for insight into why and how you are motivated to achieve workplace goals and succeed at the job. He will also be seeking to discover whether the factors that motivate you are aligned with the company’s goals and with the role in which you would be working.

Aliko Dangote once said, “Motivation, backed by good planning and correct action leads to success. I believe in hard work and one of my business success secrets is hard work. To succeed in business, you must build a brand and never destroy it.”

As for what motivates me, I love seeing things done appropriately, ensuring resources are well managed to reduce waste, risk and abuse. I’m more driven by promoting operational efficiency to achieve set goals. Being detailed is a strength I have grown with.

Also, being an entrepreneur, desire to create something new, autonomy, wealth and financial independence are some of the things that inspire me to crave for success.

So, in a simple and straightforward question, what motivates you?

WednesdayWisdom 👌

What Circle Do You Belong?

One thing I have come to realise over the years is how people choose to respond differently to change.

We all know how challenging life can be. We all have things in our life that challenge us – whether it is people, situations or the environment we live in.

There are varieties of things that always interest us, but most are simply time wasting. They are refer to as our Circle of Concern. These are things beyond our control, yet we labour time addressing them.

On the other hand, we give little or no attention to things we could actually control – the Circle of Influence or Control. They are concerns we have control over.

For instance, you may be concern about the economy of the country, but can you really do anything about it?

What people think about you may be a concern, however have you thoroughly looked at your attitude too?

This is why it is important to identify your Circle of Influence within your Circle of Concern.

You might like to invest some time reflecting on the following questions:

  1. Where are you currently spending the majority of your time? In the circle of concern or influence?
  2. Are you currently being as personally effective as you can in your life?
  3. What strategies or tools could you use to help you transform your life?

Whatever it is, I would challenge us all to live today as an expression of what we love rather than what we fear.

I pray that the Almighty grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

WednesdayWisdom 👌

TaskoCares 💕

#CrabMentality (CM)

Also known as crabs in a bucket mentality, CM is a widely used term given to people who always try to pull others down from succeeding in life and getting ahead of them.

The phrase “if I can’t have it, neither can you” best describe them.

This refers to a pattern of behavior noted in crabs when they are trapped in a bucket. While any one crab could easily escape, its efforts will be undermined by others, ensuring the group’s collective demise.

The analogy in human behavior is claimed to be that members of a group will attempt to reduce the self-confidence of any member who achieves success beyond the others, out of envy, resentment, spite, conspiracy, or competitive feelings, to halt their progress.

People with crab mentality are everywhere. You can encounter them on social media, where they are always busy criticizing, instead of appreciating the news and stories about the achievements of others.

Attribute as this does not promote unity, humility and responsibility.

Below are some of the signs that can be seen on anyone who is having this unfavorable quality:

  • They are too proud of themselves and treat others as inferior beings.
  • They panic when their friends are happy and improving.
  • They are full of positivity for themselves but full of negativity for others.
  • They blame their friends for their failures rather than help them.
  • They treat their friends as competitors.
  • They will never admit that they have a crab mentality.

Having identified some of the signs associated with those guilty of the bad quality, please find below some of the ways to overcome these mentality:

  • Admit it. Don’t worry. We’re all guilty of jealousy, insecurity and selfishness… at least sometimes in our lives.
  • Open your mind and know other people better. Take note that knowing is the beginning of loving. Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes.
  • Be cheerful. Have some calmness, positivity and joy in life. Don’t spend most of your time panicking because some are getting better while you’re not. Instead, be happy about their progress, and celebrate their success.
  • Be a leader. If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.

This mentality or attitude will not help us or our country move forward and achieve lasting progress. Let us be the change we wish to see in the world.